The Turkish-Persian poet Rumi wrote, “Your boundaries are your quest.” I’ve been reflecting on this line a lot, lately, and I feel it corresponds to the idea that the lesson you didn’t learn the first time comes around again, to give you a chance to learn.

Last year, I had a severe sinus infection for about five or six months. All I wanted to do, or had the energy to do, was eat and sleep. This was a boundary. I had to learn to motivate myself even when I’m sick, and to take care of myself actively rather than just turning to a passive solution, sleep.  I have spent the last few years learning natural healing method like aromatherapy, hot stone massage, and Reiki. I also accepted help from my mother, who loaned me a nasal spray. A combination of receiving help from someone I love and taking care of myself using the skills I have learned got the job done. We all need to learn the balance between trusting ourselves and others, making decisions, taking action, and letting others help.  Having a sinus headache wasn’t fun, but it gave me a chance to see how much I had learned and how much I had grown.

I gave myself a hot stone treatment, as well as aromatherapy and Reiki. I participated in my healing, as I didn’t have the confidence and motivation to consistently do last year. I don’t just feel better, I feel proud and grateful for how far I have come and all the guidance and resources that helped me.

Being able to use what we know, let others help, but also trust ourselves, will surely serve us well in everything that we must do and attempt.

In the song “Beautiful Boy,” John Lennon says, “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.”

I definitely found this to be true, recently, when it comes to Yoga. At the end of September, I left my job. I didn’t like how I was being treated there, which can be summarized as ‘overworked and underpaid’, in addition to harassment from my peers and supervisors that only seemed to be getting worse. I have been battling unemployment for the last three, going on four years, since I was let go from a full-time job of seven years at a discount retail chain. I am lucky and grateful to have a family that helps me out while I try to get back on my feet. I became interested in Yoga about five years ago, and my first attempt at pursuing Yoga teacher training ended quickly and painfully. I became certified online, through Aura Wellness Center, in 2018.

 

I immersed myself in job searching, but also in Yoga. I wrote sequences and lesson plans, mapping out step-by-step how I wanted to launch an online fitness brand: an Instagram page, a YouTube channel, all the familiar trappings of emergent online Yoga culture. When I found a job listing for a yoga teacher position at a local non-profit community fitness center, I thought that all of that manifestation, ‘speak it and claim it’ stuff was kicking in, and my destiny was dawning.

I arrived a few minutes early at the interview and was greeted by the program director with an unenthusiastic, “Uh, can you wait over there?” a table outside his office. I waited, and we were joined by an assistant and the Yoga teacher who would be my colleague. It was clear that the director and assistant knew little about Yoga, and the Yoga teacher on staff proved to be an attention seeking, emotionally draining man who somehow roped me into academically editing his doctoral thesis…which could have been a ploy to hit on me. His actions were erratic and unclear, but there was definitely an agenda there.

I got the job, and then…waited. I didn’t hear anything from anyone for almost two weeks, except the Yoga teacher who was bombarding me with personal requests even though we weren’t even co-workers, yet. I heard nothing about orientation or on-boarding until two weeks later, the day before Thanksgiving, when I received an email instructing me to arrange at my own expense a drug test by the end of the day. It was so abrupt, it was almost creepy. I reached out to the program director, who told me to reach out to district management.

My mother, a former retail manager, had been fed up when I voiced that it was weird how long the fitness center had let me sit without a word about when I would be starting work. She’d thought everything would be handled once Thanksgiving had passed. However, now the extent of their organizational disorder was clear, and I couldn’t foresee having a fulfilling time working for them. I passed on the job, knowing as I did so that we live in a small, rural community where there is only one Yoga studio. Most of the studios are in the state capitol, which is quite a drive away. I wouldn’t say that the fitness center was my last chance to teach Yoga in person, but my certification expires in May, and job openings are all but nonexistent.

 

“What becomes of a dream deferred?” Langston Hughes wrote. “Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun?”

My dreams could’ve done so the first time that Yoga teacher training didn’t work out. As hurtful as that experience was, I didn’t quit. I studied forms of Yoga I hadn’t previously, the history of Yoga, as well as Taoism and Qi Gong to expand my worldview. Maybe some of my determination, however, came from spite, which is just another form of letting the person or experience who’s hurt you influence you. This time, I wanted to create an experience that would provide a bridge between the thing that hurt me and my future. No bitterness, just healing and growth.

Using the money from editing my almost-colleague’s college essays, I took a Reiki course through Udemy. I had wanted to take a Reiki course or workshop, but every time I came close something seemed to come up, or I didn’t have the money. This time, the timing clicked. Studying the art of healing with universal energy was the sort of rite of passage that is not conventionally accommodated for in modern, Western life:  a shamanic experience.

 

When people hear the word shaman, perhaps they think of the writing of Carlos Castaneda, of an old man living in the jungle who uses herbs and concoctions to produce hallucinatory, psychedelic trances.  Shamanism is one of many socially constructed views of how healing occurs. In a shamanistic worldview, it is possible to commune with and channel the metaphysical dimension of the world that we inhabit-they are counterparts, and affect each other. When the physical body grows ill, the metaphysical dynamics that surround and exist within it can, in a shamanistic worldview, be treated in the same way the organs and systems of the physical body can be. Socially, a shamanistic world view is also a stage in human personal growth. Many cultures still have these rituals, which incorporate visions, spiritual visitations, and various states of out of body experience, and at the end of what we might call a period of madness or possession the person who has experienced them emerges from their ordeal new, more adult, with a new wisdom that equips them with the tools to learn the healing arts of their culture. These societies usually understand the metaphysical and emotional dimension of sickness and wellness.

Reiki does not involve the tools we may associate with shamanism, like masks and dances. Its only tools are your own hands, through which you channel energy. However, the experience for me was my shamanic coming of age-it provided the time, space, and knowledge I needed to tap deeply into my consciousness, to release buried memories and emotions, to learn metaphysical healing tactics to address the pain I had carried within for so long, and to turn those emotions into a new foundation for steadiness and ease. I returned to my regularly scheduled life with new eyes not just on my surroundings, but on how I had been thinking and living before.

After becoming a Reiki practitioner, I haven’t returned to my Yoga brand plans. For ten years, I worked in retail, and have approached my passions in life with the discourse and mentality I know from my work and, before that,  from my mother’s career. Business plans are important for success, but not everything is a product. Yoga ceased to be a profound system of spirituality for me when I decided to make it a career. For the last five years, my experience of Yoga has been defined by the goal to become a teacher.

I am taking a step back from that, and my goal now is to enjoy it as a system of spirituality, that enriches and renews my hope, faith, inner strength and peace of mind. I want to be curious about Yoga, again. I want to have fun, doing Yoga, and I want to see its philosophy, mythology, and benefits of practice blossom in my life before I preach to others through a web video or Instagram post about how happy it will make them. If anything I learn and share can have value for someone else, that is good, but I have realized that Yoga is a method to first heal the self, but my approach to Yoga has been all about harvesting knowledge and experience to sell it to others.

 

Right now, so much about my life is uncertain. I don’t have any work, at the moment, and when I go out or look at job listings online, the effects of prolonged economic depression are more stark and clear every day. However, for the first time in a long time, I feel connected and engaged with Yoga as a practice that can help me survive this by finding the strength within.

 

 

I took an unexpected break from posting to focus on job searching and self-study. Through journaling as I study various arts like Tarot, Reiki, Yoga, meditation, and dance, I understand myself better, and therefore have a better grasp of my flaws, mistakes, patterns, passions, and goals. Progress is incremental, however, and we can’t see this as a lack of progress. As much as other people can misunderstand Yoga or how the ideal Yogi should act, I think those of us who practice can be hard on or have unrealistic expectations of ourselves, too.

When I tell people that I practice Yoga, aside from those who find it unfamiliar culturally and attach social, religious, ethnic, and geographic stereotypes about Eastern philosophy and religious practice to it, I get another kind of stereotyping. I’m expected to be wise and nice all the time, to rise above other people’s bad behavior and have an answer or a solution. Granted, being the bigger person is always the best solution in a conflict or difficult situation with another person who is being less than mature. But, I feel like there have been times where I was expected to be consistently someone else’s idea of “Zen”.

Don’t hold yourself to the kind of standard where you think you should always be at peace, be calm, be kind, be wise. When you hold your emotions in, and deny that they are there, you aren’t examining them. If you aren’t acknowledging  how you feel and why, you aren’t learning from the experience. If you’re angry, by all means calm yourself down, but ask yourself what triggered this emotion, and if you consistently react this way. If you are sad, examine what has brought that on, and if your tears or melancholy are the result of something you have been suppressing for a long time that has finally welled up.  The stereotype of the Good Yogi will have you believe that these emotions have no place in your life if you are committed to the path of Yoga, that you’re stepping off your path by feeling them.

But, Yoga is about feeling it all but not being controlled by what you feel. You know the secret of Shiva’s cosmic dance: that it never ends. In this dance you move in and out of joy and despair, and everything in between, unceasingly, not influenced or destroyed by these feelings, but learning from them all.

Just because you’re a Yogi, doesn’t mean that you’ll never have a screaming argument with someone you love, or that you’ll never cry, never dislike someone, or that you’ll always have a kind word or the right answer. Just because your’e a Yogi, doesn’t mean that you will never feel lost, confused, depressed, or angry. It means that you are committed to caring for yourself and learning from life, even when all hope seems lost and you’re almost afraid of what the next day will bring. You are trying to find balance in the unceasing dance of life. Your effort to do this, is Yoga, and its fruits are not perfection, but resilience.

The opposing energies that propel the dynamics of life on a macrocosmic and microcosmic scale are characterized as ‘negative’ and ‘positive’, with other characteristics arranged under these respective umbrellas. In every-day usage, we think of negative and positive as correlative to the concepts and words ‘bad’, and ‘good.’ An optimistic person is described as having a positive attitude, a Debbie Downer is negative. We weigh the negatives and positives of a situation when making a decision. However, when we are discussing qualities of energy, positive and negative cannot be simplified to ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ We must think of them more scientifically. What is positively charged is hot and reactive. What is negatively charged has a forceful and dense quality that stops-negates-itself from being impacted by other energies, and stops the force of things that confront it.

The Yogic science of physical postures, which prepare the body and mind for the more challenging act of meditation, is called Hatha Yoga. One translation of the word Hatha from Sanskrit is that it is comprised of the words ‘ha-’, sun, and ‘-tha’, moon. This represents the balance between opposing energies which is the goal of Yoga. The sun represents dynamism, the moon serenity and rest. While sun salutations warm and energize the body, moon salutations release tension from the body to help prepare for the night’s rest.

 

The sun is generally associated with positive forces, those that react with matter on earth to encourage life. The moon is more subtly forceful, and able to control the tides of the ocean, which covers more of the earth than any landmass, with its gravitational pull. These forces are microcosmically mimicked in the asanas of the Sun and Moon salutations. The warming Ujjayi Pranayama and dynamically linked vinyasa krama of the asanas of sun salutations warm the body and give it energy, which makes it a good practice with which to begin the day, before heading out to work or errands. Moon salutations have the moon’s subtle force. They utilize hip openers to release tension from the lower back and hips, and the vinyasa krama of the asanas reflect the cyclical repetition of the phases of the moon.

As with sun salutations, there are many variations of the moon salutation. They can be practiced alone, at the beginning of a longer sequence.

On a separate note, for many in India this is the five day festival period of Diwali, the festival of light. The celebrations differ by region; in some, it is the goddess Lakshmi being venerated, in others it is the commemoration of the day Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana returned to Ayodhya after their exile. It can sometimes be hard to find the light in our lives. We wander in the dark, out of touch with ourselves and others, feeling powerless and unseen-where does the light come from, in such circumstances? Yoga has been a light in my life, guiding me out of some tough situations and hard feelings. Pursuing its goal, to uncover a connection with God within ourselves, has shown me far more light than I ever dreamed possible within myself, and in the world. Whether it is the golden, radiant light of the sun, or the cool silver light of the moon, there is much light to be found in this world. Happy Diwali, and please reference the disclaimer below before you practice.

Please, do not attempt to practice the guidelines shared here if you have a prior injury or chronic illness which would require consulting a doctor before you begin an exercise regimen. Practice in a room that is not too hot or too cold, drink water and wear light, comfortably fitting clothes. If you are on a prescription medication, please follow the medication’s guidelines as usual. If you are, or might be pregnant, if you have a history of high blood pressure, are prone to or have been experiencing headaches, pain in your eyes, ringing in your ears, nosebleeds, or dizziness, please do not practice the guidelines shared here before consulting a doctor.

 

Chandra Namaskar (Moon Salutation):

1. Engage Pada Bandha, the foot lock, and stand in Tadasana (Mountain Pose). With your hands, take Anjali Mudra (The Prayer Pose). Breathe slowly and deeply, into your lower abdomen.
2. Raise your arms overhead, fingers pointing upward, and on your exhale take a side bend to the left. Stand up straight, inhale, and on your exhale take a sidebend to the right.
3. Raise your arms overhead, fingers pointed to the air, in Urdhva Hastasana (Upward Salute).
4. Exhale and fold to Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend).
5. Inhale and engage the abdomen to extend the spine, hands resting on the knees or below them in Ardha Uttanasana (Half Forward Bend).
6. Exhale and release the abdomen as you bend back to Standing Forward Bend.
7. Engage the abdomen to roll to standing in Tadasana (Mountain Pose).
8. Step your right leg back, and turn your right foot to 90 degrees, pointing out from your ankle to the right (don’t strain your ankle here, go with the grain of your joint at the ankle, and no further), and bend your left knee over your ankle. Torso and face forward, neck relaxed, spine straight, arms extended in Warrior II.
9. Straighten your left knee, both feet pointing outward, legs wide, and arms wide in Star Pose.
10. Bend your knees and sink into your pelvic girdle, bending your elbows with your hands raised in Goddess Pose.
11. Straighten your knees, turn your right foot 90 degrees and point your left foot forward. Hinge from your hips and extend your torso over your left leg. Your left hand’s fingertips touch the floor, and your right hand reaches to the air in Trikonasana (Triangle Pose.)
12. Lift your upper body on an inhale, exhale and allow the abdomen to fold over the left leg, hands on your left ankle in Parsvottanasana, Pyramid Pose.
13. Place your palms on the floor and bend your left knee to a lunge.
14. Place your right knee on the floor and raise your upper body upright, arms raised overhead in Anjaneyasana.
15. Return to a lunge, turn your torso forward, place your palms on the floor. Engage your lower body as you extend the left leg, ground your left heel, bend the right knee into a squat, and flow to the right side, resting in the right hip. This is Sahaja Ardha Malasana, Flowing Half Garland Pose. Flow from right to left here.
16. Return to lunge, to your right.
17. Walk your feet to Uttanasana.
18. Engage your abdomen to roll to Tadasana.
19. Repeat the Chandra Namaskar on the right side.

 

 

 

Yoga is often referred to as a ‘moving meditation’. This is a matter of the intention one brings to their practice, which informs the decisions that we make, and how we choose to move and experience what we are doing. The Sun Salutation, Surya Namaskar, is a practice whose repetitive poses can be beneficial for learning how to go deeply into practice, moving rhythmically with the cadence of the inhalations and exhalations. The history of this practice is one that spans centuries and has transformed considerably in its journey. Its modern form is considerably different from its ancient roots, but the practice as it exists today can be combined with meditative intention that provides timeless benefits.

 

Surya is a Hindu deity, the god of the sun and its life-giving light. Namaskar is Sanskrit for ‘Salutation’. (The term ‘Namaste’ is comprised of the words ‘Namas’- salute, and -te, you. “I salute you”). A Namaskar is a salutation, or act of acknowledgment and reverence, towards a god, element, or concept. In his 2001 adaptation of the Hindu epic, The Ramayana, Ramesh Menon writes of its heroes, the princes Rama and Lakshmana,

“The princes awoke. Rested and smiling, they waded into the fragrant river, they worshipped the rising sun with Suryanamaskara” (Menon 19).

 

The Surya Namaskar that the hero Rama practiced was most likely a prayer said to fulfill the ritual of Sandhya, prayers said at  sunrise and sunset. Reverence for the sun is written of in ancient Hindu texts like the Vedas and Upanishads, but the Surya Namaskar practiced in modern Hatha Yoga has its origins in early 20^th century India. At this time, Hatha Yoga gurus and disciples began to practice, teach, and promote a form of Yoga that was eventually introduced to the west, the Hatha Yoga that we know now: ancient meditation postures sequenced in accordance with modern physical fitness ideas, presented with philosophical underpinnings from Indian spiritual texts and ritual.

The modern Surya Namaskar is a combination of ancient reverence for the life-giving sun, and body-building techniques of the 19^th and early 20^th century. One of its most prominent champions was Bhawanrao Shrinivasrao Pant Pratinidhi, the Raja of Aundh. In the Economic Times article, “Bhawanrao Shrinivasrao Pant Pratinidhi: The Man Who Promoted Surya Namaskar”, Vikram Doctor writes,

“The Raja insisted on first his children performing …and then all children in schools in Aundh. In 1923 he wrote a book in Marathi on the practice which he then had translated into English. In advance of this, in 1927, he wrote to the Times of India explaining the benefits: “The great speciality and importance of this exercise of Namaskars consists in that it can be taken most profitably at all times in all seasons, at all stages of life and by all men and women” (Doctor).

 

I’m inclined to agree with the Raja. Surya Namaskars are a great exercise for beginners, because they warm and open the body, and combine pranayama and meditation in motion. While performing the asanas of Surya Namaskar, one is meant to move with the inhalations and exhalations, which becomes easy to do because of the repetitive nature of the asanas in the sequence. Following this flow takes you into a deeply experiential state. The mind clears, and you are completely tuned into your body.

Sun Salutations  can be placed at the beginning of a longer sequence, or done as a morning workout followed by a quick Savasana or meditation. While performing Surya Namaskar, we face the sun and move in appreciation of its light and embracing its warmth, or, if it is a cold day, we contemplate its perpetual presence even if it is hidden by clouds. The sun is a generous entity, giving light to every corner of the world, to every being. The Sufi poet Hafiz wrote,

“Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me’.

What becomes of a love like that?

It lights the whole sky”.

 

Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation)

This is a shorter adaptation of the common 12 step Sun Salutation. This adaptation would be appropriate for beginners. Chaturanga Dandasana (Four Pointed Staff), has been omitted because beginners or those with chronic pain or previous injury in their shoulders and wrists may find these asanas difficult to perform.

 

1. Sit in Sukhasana (Easy Seated Pose) and begin Ujjayi Pranayama (Ocean Breath). Breathe through your nostrils, into the pit of your stomach, fully suffusing the belly, your chest, and rib cage. Exhale, feeling the belly release the inhaled air and settle back against the spine, and the chest and rib cage release the breath, as well. The inhalations and exhalations should be audible, and have the cadence of ocean waves.
2. Come to hands and knees, your shoulders open and bottom slightly lifted, your neck and head lifted and your face facing forward, spine natural and relaxed like the top of a table, your knees grounded, and your palms flat on the floor. Inhale. Round your spine, tuck your chest, bring your chin into your chest, look down, and exhale. These are cat-cow tilts. Like Ujjayi Pranayama, they warm and open the body, and help establish the rhythm of your breath.
3. Come to Cow Pose, spine like a table-top, place your toes on the ground, straighten your knees, and lift into Adho Mukha Svanasana, Downard Facing Dog. From Down-Dow, walk your feet between your hands into Uttanasana, forward bend. Engage your abdomen to roll up into standing.
4. Stand in Tadasana (Mountain Pose) with your shoulders relaxed, arms at your sides, neck relaxed, gazing forward.
5. Sweep your hands upward, your palms meeting together above your head in Upward Salute.
6. Let your arms glide back to your sides, back to Tadasana.
7. Repeat this movement, from Tadasana to Upward Salute, and complete it by resting the hands in prayer pose in front of your chest. This is the Anjali Mudra, the Reverence mudra.
8. With your hands in Anjali Mudra, tune into your breath. Enjoy its rhythm, feel its warmth within your body. If you are outside, feel the sun on your face, and take a moment of gratitude for its warmth and light.
9. Raise your hands to Upward Salute. Extend your hands to your sides, exhale as you bend forward from the hips and extend your abdomen over your thighs. Rest your hands on your ankles or on the ground, whichever is more comfortable for you to reach, in Uttanasana, forward Bend.
10. Engage your abdomen, on an inhale, as you extend your spine like a table-top and raise your chest over your knees. Your hands should rest on, above, or below your knees. This is Ardha Uttanasana, Half Forward Bend.
11. Exhale back to Uttanasana, then place your hands on the ground or your mat. Extend your right leg back in a lunge.
12. Let your right knee rest on the mat or ground, and inhale as you raise your chest, until you are standing on one knee, chest, torso and head upright, neck relaxed, gaze ahead. Your left foot is planted firmly on the floor, your left knee bent. You should be ‘down on one knee’, like a man about to propose marriage, or Tim Tebow! If you have regular discomfort in the knee that is supporting you, then place a pillow or folded blanket beneath it.
13. Breathe here, with your hands raised as in Warrior 1. You can hold a Yoga strap to help your balance.
14. On your exhale, return to a lunge. Inhale as you walk back to Uttanasana. Exhale in Uttanasana.
15. Inhale in Ardha Uttanasana.
16. Engage your abdomen, not your spine, and let your shoulders and arms travel with your abdomen as you roll up to Tadasana.
17. Hands to Anjali Mudra. Breathe and reflect.
18. Repeat 1 through 11, but this time on your left side. From lunge, come down to rest your left knee in ‘Tebow Pose’, and your right knee bent and right foot on the ground.
19. Repeat 12 through 16.
20. From here, you can return to Sukhasana and breathe in Ujjayi Pranayama, or you can come to relaxation in Savasana.

Please, do not attempt to practice the guidelines shared here if you have a prior injury or chronic illness which would require consulting a doctor before you begin an exercise regimen. Practice in a room that is not too hot or too cold, drink water and wear light, comfortably fitting clothes. If you are on a prescription medication, please follow the medication’s guidelines as usual. If you are, or might be pregnant, if you have a history of high blood pressure, are prone to or have been experiencing headaches, pain in your eyes, ringing in your ears, nosebleeds, or dizziness, please do not practice the guidelines shared here before consulting a doctor.

 

References

Menon, R. (2001). The Ramayana: A Modern Retelling of the Great Indian Epic. New York. North Point Press.

Doctor, V. (June 15, 2018).  “Bhawanrao Shrinivasrao Pant Pratinidhi: The Man Who Promoted Surya Namaskar”. The Economic Times. Web. Retrieved October 17, 2019. https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/bhawanrao-shrinivasrao-pant-pratinidhi-the-man-who-promoted-surya-namaskar/articleshow/64607546.cms

 

 

Up to this point, we have explored breath-work and relaxation. Over the next few posts, we are going to dive into practicing sequences of asanas, or “Yoga poses.” Don’t attempt any form of exercise if it might aggravate a pre-existing condition or injury, before consulting a doctor. The guidelines given in this blog are merely shared insights and information about various forms of Yoga-don’t practice anything that might exhaust or injure you.

Before we explore Sun Salutations and Moon Salutations, we’re going to learn about the Pada Bandha. It is the foundation of all standing poses, and the balance it takes to move in and out of these poses.

The Bandhas, or locks, are the foundational micro-positions of Yoga asana practice. Their purpose is both physical and metaphysical. The Bandhas give the body the stability to assume other poses, but they are also believed to raise energy in the chakras and seal this energy-like the boiling water in a pot by placing on the lid. This energy is utilized through the course of the vinyasa krama-or yoga asana sequence-and/or channeled to the various chakras of the body.

Pada Bandha is the Foot Lock. It allows us to stay steady on our feet in standing poses. We may be required to stand on two feet, as in Tadasana (Mountain Pose), and Utkatasana (Chair Pose). Balancing on one foot, as in Natarajasana (Cosmic Dancer or Lord Shiva’s Dance Pose) and Vrkasana (Tree Pose) requires command of Pada Bandha, as well

To assume Pada Bandha, stand on your two feet. Relax your shoulders and neck and allow your arms to hang loosely at your sides. Stare straight ahead, your chin relaxed, and your head held upright. Straighten and relax your spine. Rest your weight on the heel, arch, and pads of your feet. Lift and flex the toes on the inhale, relax your toes and ground your whole foot on the exhale. Do this until you feel grounded and confident in your posture.

When you’re ready, shift your weight to one foot completely and lift the other leg in front of you with your knee bent, ankle relaxed, and toe pointed. Set your foot down, shifting your weight to the opposite leg. Lift this foot, in the same way as you did on the other side. Continue to perform this, on alternating sides, as much as you need to build Pada Bandha standing on one foot.

The benefits of building your balance, standing on either one or two feet, are a physical resourcefulness and resilience that may lower the risk of injury from tripping, stumbling, and falling. Knowing how to stand is, much like knowing how to properly breathe, deceptively simple. It is an art that we can lose our grasp of when we are distracted, and perform haphazardly, causing problems for our body and mind as we place our attention elsewhere. The expression, “to stand on one’s own two feet” means to have autonomy and independence, to be able to rely on yourself. This is at one with the goal of all dimensions of Yoga, liberation.

 

 

Lions are often thought of as majestic and regal creatures, symbolically employed to depict power and monarchy-like in the British royal seal, which features a lion rampant on one side. The Yogic path of meditation is referred to in ancient texts as Raja Yoga, royal Yoga. Here, as with the symbolism of lions, royalty and the power it comes with is meant to be interpreted as power and command over one’s self, rather than others. The meditating Yogi, like the lion’s superior prowess compared to other animals, has an advantage, which is superior control of the mind that comes from diligent practice.

That self control is hard to develop, and hard to call on when you need it. Sometimes, to find our own power again, we have to relax and reset. We have the power to see our lives as full of blessings, instead of hardships, and ourselves as worth it, with a future before us, instead of lost and finished. The power resides within, we just have to tap into it, and surrender to it.

 

The sequence below features facial relaxation exercises, a focus exercise called Trataka, and a relaxation pose called Lion’s Posture. It differs from Yoga’s Lion’s Pose, Simhasana, and is a posture that the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, is often depicted in.  The facial exercises release tension in the facial muscles there. We create and hold a lot of tension in our face-it is, after all, where we react to various emotions, or try not to. We speak of ‘facing’ our problems, or ‘saving face’ when we have to hide our emotions in the midst of a difficult situation. This tension, of constantly physically reacting to life’s stressors, can cause tension headaches. In my case, I have had a toothache, and these exercises help relieve the pain a great deal. Trataka feels like looking at a mandala-the eyes travel clockwise, exercising the muscles of the eyes.  I recently saw a collection of silk printed Tibetan mandalas in a museum, and I look forward to seeing them again after practicing Trataka more-maybe the tiny painted figures will be even more distinct! Meditation practices all offer a way to prepare our body for what we want, and what is waiting for us.

 

Simha Namaskar (Lion Salutation):

In this sequence, we try to capture the grace of a resting lion, preparing for the final relaxation pose, Lion’s Posture. When lions recline in the grass, they look adorable and innocent, not like predators capable of overtaking the world’s fastest land animal, the cheetah. The fact that they are so powerful allows them to rest at ease, assured of their ability to triumph. They are not defensive, they are open and relaxed, sure they will not be disturbed by their surroundings.

 

1. Facial Relaxation. Sitting comfortably in Easy Pose, or Lotus Pose, yawn. Open your mouth, feel a yawn rise in the back of your throat, and let it out. Don’t force it. Chances are, your body has just been waiting for an invitation to release some tension-the yawn will come.
2. Purse your lips as if in a kiss, and hold it for six seconds.
3.  Frown.
4. Smile.
5. Release your smile.
6. Move your eyes up, to the right, down, to the left, and repeat as many times as this feels comfortable. You should feel as if you are looking at the numbers of a clock, or a mandala.
7. Close your eyes.
8. Come to Cow Pose, on all fours. Inhale, and then exhale with your mouth wide open, your tongue sticking out, creating a hissing roar sound. Feel tension leave your body on this active exhalation.
9. Perform any actions here that will continue to release tension from your body. Everyone might need something different, here, depending on where you are holding your tension.
10. When you’re ready, take Lion’s Posture. Lie on your side, supporting your head with one arm under your head. Lay your other arm beside you, in front of your chest. Focus on the rhythm of your breath, and relax.

Its normal to feel like life is bigger than us, that we are powerless, and everything is going wrong. But, Yoga, meditation, and relaxation are resources we can turn to when we need to remember our capacity to heal, be creative, and seek new opportunities. Where there is life, there is hope.

 

 

 

For a time, I was fascinated by finding the direction of the wind. Its trajectory, the path it will take, can perhaps be forecasted, but its origins are unknown and unknowable. I’d watch it bend the pine trees behind my house, listen to its music piping from an invisible source, and wonder if it had an origin, like a dragon emerging from the mouth of a cave, or if it was more of an ouroboros, wrapping around the world to embrace itself, without an end or beginning that can be discerned or defined.

The mysteries of nature may confound us like this, but in such a way that we feel awe and wonder. We sense that we are apart of the same elements of which these mysteries are made, and exult at the alchemy that binds all the world in the continued creative work of our universe. However, the unknown variables of our day to day lives produce the opposite effect. When we find ourselves without an answer, in a situation that perplexes us, and overwhelms us, we don’t gaze around in awe-rather, we feel anxiety. We feel that the situation is bigger than our ability to control it, and will continue to spiral and spin, taking us helplessly along with it in a whirlpool of catastrophe.

I have spent a lot of my life feeling this way, which led me to study Yoga and other mindfulness meditations. We turn to these methods to learn how to reprogram our reactions to stress: to override anxiety with calm and clear thinking.

However, its important to be compassionate and forgiving towards ourselves while we are in the middle of this process. Yesterday, I found myself in a difficult situation at work. I had to take a payment from a customer over the phone, but the card was declined and the customer didn’t leave their information with me. My manager was tied up for hours, and at one point I wasn’t sure if she was still in the building. I experienced a lot of different emotions. I felt like an idiot, for not doing something so simple and obvious as not hanging up the phone until the payment cleared. Then the customer could have given me another method of payment. This sounds like a small mistake, but I am still rather new on the job, and was out of work for five months prior to being hired at my current job. I am still trying to get used to being back in the workforce, and trying hard to perform well. The desire to do well can easily lead to the fear of failure, and from there the anxious mind embroiders this fear with worst case scenarios, hellish daydreams about what your realized fear will look like.

Maybe one day, I and all of us who practice meditation, will reach a place where we no longer have these thoughts and responses to the unexpected.  But, it doesn’t mean that what you are practicing, studying, learning, and trying earnestly to aspire to isn’t working, setting in, or helping you if you still have moments of panic. What matters is that you are able to let it go, and bounce back emotionally to a place of steadiness and ease.

I worried. I cried. But, after that, I took deep, mindful, abdominal breaths, and listened to a nature recording on my earbuds at work. I did feel the anxiety that I have been struggling with for years, but I was also able to calm down. I smiled. I felt my mind become empty and flexible, once more. I focused on other tasks and moved on. The ability to let go and move on from events and feelings that upset us is the fruit of our meditation, and that is something we should take pride in.

If we have, somehow, ingested a toxic substance into our bodies, our first instinct is to somehow get it out of our body. However, when it comes to our feelings, and how stressful situations impact us, it is harder to delete this residue from our minds. It stays with us, and informs how we handle situations that cause stress in future. We become afraid that the situation will play out like something we have been through before, or something even worse.

To be able to feel these feelings, acknowledge them, name them, and then travel through them like walking in the direction that the wind is blowing, to the peace on the other side of the tempest, is a valuable accomplishment.  It is a resource that we have built over time with practice. We all feel fear, that is nothing to be ashamed of. Being able to feel our fear and let it go is the gift that Yoga and meditation gives us when we consistently practice, and rely on what he have learned when we really need it.

While we live in the pursuit of a time without feelings of fear, let us also have compassion for the fact that we feel it sometimes, and rejoice that we have the tools to let it go and feel better.

 

Sthira, the name of this blog, is Sanskrit for ‘steadiness’. In Yoga, one often hears the adage ‘Sthira and Sukham’-Steadiness and Ease. Its often used as a reminder to ground the body in standing or seated position. Reclaiming mental steadiness and ease in moments when we feel like we have lost our command of a situation is more difficult than staying in one of Yoga’s physical postures, the asanas. Deep, gentle breaths through the nostrils, breathing into the abdomen, and feeling the stomach fill on the inhalation, becoming flat once more as the air vacates on the exhalation, will calm the mind. As the nervous system physiologically relaxes, we can mentally change the object of our focus to the patterns of our breath, which should be as rhythmic as the ocean.

1. Take Ujjayi Pranayama, breathing deep into the abdomen, through the nostrils, gently, listening to the sound of the breath. It should, as you withdraw your senses from the world outside and tune into your body (pratyahara), start to sound like ocean waves rolling in and out.
2. On your inhale, think, “Steadiness”. On your exhalation, think, ‘Ease’.
3. Live! Enjoy the rest of your day. Fear isn’t forever.

Its important to know what makes us smile.

 

I am frequently anxious, and this began in childhood, shortly after my parents’ divorce. At the time, I didn’t think it had a huge emotional impact on my life. I didn’t act or feel weepy, have or ask a lot of questions, like kids on soap operas. Since my stepfather wasn’t my biological father, I guess I felt like I didn’t have the same right to feel affected by what was happening that I would if he was my biological father. I remembered him coming into our lives, me and my mother, and now he was leaving, and even though I was just 8 years old,  I adopted a ‘such is life’ mentality about it all. It was happening, but I chose not to feel anything about it, life had to go on.  However, its undeniable that my issues with anxiety and depression began around this time.

My mother used to tell me to meditate, and imagine my ‘happy place’, which she described as a sandy white beach with the murmuring ocean beside it. This had no meaning for me. I had never been to the ocean, as a child. What I knew was the rural paradise of my great-grandparents’ house, the long shadows of the trees, the smells of dark and red earth, and the long drive bordered by thorny meadows and pine trees. Being asked to imagine a place I had never been, an environment that I had no associations with, just made the task of trying to calm down even harder. My anxieties came not just from home, but from the bullying that I have always faced for being bookish and well spoken in a low-income rural region. Even amongst adults, in the workforce, I have found that my demeanor unintentionally intimidates others who are less secure about their own abilities. I have spent most of my life between a rock and a hard place-do I dim my light to be accepted and survive? Am I truly doing something wrong? What can I do differently, and why does this happen everywhere I go? Do ethnicity and/or gender have anything to do with how I am perceived and treated? Pitched on tides of constant anguish, when I found meditation once again, as an adult, it unlocked a treasure chamber of peace for me, which I didn’t think was possible in this life. We always have access to this peace, it can always be summoned at any moment.

 

While working at a bookstore a couple of years ago, I found a quote from the writer Albert Camus at the beginning of a novel:

“Even in the midst of winter, I found within myself an invincible summer.”

When I meditate, I feel an invincible warmth, an invincible peace. I feel close to myself. I feel that I am the person I was always waiting for, to stand up for me, protect me, and comfort me. I feel happy, and I am able to cut through the flotsam of trauma and find the memories of my life that make me happy.

Over the last couple of days I have been practicing a meditation that I discovered throught the Plum Village app. The Plum Village monastery system are a network of Zen Buddhist monasteries founded by the writer and activist Thich Nhat Hanh. The app is available for free, and has an extensive library of guided meditations. When I was faced with difficult situations, I returned to this simple practice: “Breathe in, smile, and feel calm. Breathe out, release, and feel ease.”

In order to have the right motivation for this practice, we must know what makes us smile. I couldn’t summon the Happy Place that my mother described to me when I was a kid, because I hadn’t been there, yet. But, now I know the ocean. I know what its like to play in the shallows, to feel sunwarmed afternoon waters lapping at my bellybutton, or storm cooled waves bathing my ankles hours before or after a sudden burst of rain. I know the ocean in summer, and in winter. I know what its like to be caught in a riptide and have to remain calm, letting the force and flow of the water take me under, bob me back up, and sail me back to the shore. Now, I know-and its one of my happy places. So is my childhood home, its long road with few lights except the dizzying stars shining over the shadowed trees. When I breathe in, and smile, I go to those places. When I breathe out, and release, I find that they are always there, always within my memory, a source of strength and joy.

 

Here is my expanded Breathe, Smile, and Release practice. You can practice it standing, sitting, lying down, seated in Easy or Lotus Poses or in a chair, or walking.

 

1. Get comfortable in the position in which you choose to practice. Take a few minutes to establish the flow of your breathing. Breathe deeply and gently through your nostrils, into your belly. Exhale gently and fully.
2. Summon a memory that gives you joy. It can be of a vacation, a holiday, or just a really good day, with the people you truly love, a pet, or a moment in which you felt very close to yourself. It could be in any setting that brings you happiness. If there is a place you dream of visiting, or an activity you dream of doing, you can summon that, instead of something from the past. Its always a good time to set goals!
3. Breathe in, and see this place, this moment. Smile. Let your thoughts summon a real smile that you can feel in the muscles of your face, and gives you warmth from within. Do not fake a smile-find what makes you happy, and let it do so.
4. Breathe out, and release the smile, letting your face relax completely. You will find that the happiness you feel thinking of your happy place is still with you.
5. Continue to breathe and relax for as long as you need.

 

For the last week or so I have been doing The Artist’s Way, a program designed by author Julia Cameron. Through journal practices, you gradually get to tap into your creativity by speaking to it, and blocks that keep it from flowing. These blocks usually stem from old insecurities and even traumas around our confidence and ability to be creative.

I’ve always loved being creative. When I was a kid, I would cover my parents’-a full time mom and city cop, respectively-modest apartment with watercolor paintings that my mom lovingly called, ‘abstract’. I continued to paint, draw, and make collages throughout my childhood and adolescence, and I also love to write. My mother loves fashion, and for a time always had Harper’s Bazaar around the house. I used to buy Vogue with my allowance as a teen, and loved drawing designs. When I was in my early twenties, I began making small pieces every once in a while from vintage saris. I love thinking about the concept of something, what its pieces are and how to work with them, and then putting them together and creating something that wasn’t there before: a whole thing, out of small things.

However, all those art forms aren’t the only expressions of creativity there are. Imagination is the ability to see what could be, and how we can realize that vision. It takes imagination to design a dream home and find a contractor to build it, to pick a career path and go to college, to heal from an emotionally damaging experience. Imagination is a form of hope-you must believe that your vision will happen. Creativity is the inner strength and flexibility to gather the resources and information you need to realize your vision, and play with them until you have a finished product that you’re satisfied with.

Creativity is a comfort, because it is the inner strength that allows us to solve problems when we are faced with them. Anyone who has ever had a good idea is creative, and using creativity. The arts are not the only way to exercise that energy, but it is  a way to share them with others. All arts exist to give joy. However, we can heal ourselves with the focus that creative expression requires, and the happiness it gives us to practice it. When we know what makes us happy, we know ourselves better.

The Adi mantra, ‘Ong namo guru dev namo’ can be undertaken as a mantra practice. It can be translated as, “I bow to the teacher within.” We all have to ability to learn about ourselves through observing how we perform, and creative endeavors are an opportunity to observe ourselves, to be our own teachers and see how we react when in the midst of realizing a vision. Do we hesitate and hang back, looking to others to lead? Do we take the lead, do we collaborate or work alone, and what form does our creativity take? In this way, we teach ourselves, and we always feel gratitude towards our teachers, when what they say teaches us who we are. This self-gratitude can give us more compassion for our mistakes, and more clarity about our perspective in the midst of feedback from others. What feels true to you? What did you create, and what was your vision?

What feels true to you matters, and everything you feel and experience is apart of the creative process.